i’ve got a pair of sandals and they serve me well
i’ve got the sun on my shoulders and a wishing well
i’ve got the ground below and the sky above
i’ve got friends at home who are still in love

and the seconds go by tick tick tick tick
it’s our world and i’m living on it

i’ve got some things to lose and the world to gain
thoughts that bring me pleasure, thoughts that bring me pain
i’ve got the means to stay and the means to go
i could make a choice or go with the flow

and the days go by flip flip flip flip
this is life and i’m living it

there’s a story that i could tell you
might leave you feeling good or leave you feeling blue
it’s the past and future and the now, all one
it’s a dove and a rose and a car and a gun

and the years go by bit by bit
it’s the truth and i’m dealing with it
and as time goes by tick tick tick
i am loving every bit

http://www.myspace.com/cynicalpinnacle

the album starts off with a heartbeat. a realization of existence that anyone can relate to. it’s fragile, pounding and glad all at once, summarizing life and setting the stage for a maturity that metric has, it seems, finally grown into after however many enjoyably accessible albums with moderate weight.

straight onto the catchiest guitar riff on the album and a song about love, money, whatever. it’s like you’ve run into a wall of noise. it’s a great second song. the chorus floats as one of the many high points of the album. but then just when you think it’s over, it’s not! maybe you’ll see what i mean. i’m a pretty firm believer that this song should end at 3:07, maybe because i don’t want to hear that stupid prechorus again. otherwise it’s brilliant, though.

this next one has my favourite lyric on the album. “i’m not suicidal/i just can’t get out of bed”. this song seems to be about drugs, or depression. but it’s got lots in it. i don’t want to analyze it. this song is just the best if you close your eyes and listen to the way the guitar sounds and what it does. i also love how much it feels like a buildup, but then you get…

…twilight galaxy. the first quiet song on the album, it continues the buildup from the previous song and the album relaxes, you feel confidence, a breath of air, or a surfacing for the first time starting at 2:20. have i mentioned how well this album is produced yet? nope. well, it’s so VERY well produced. it’s very clean and blended. i think this song, being the most minimalist so far, is the perfect time to mention it because it just sounds so great even though it’s so simple. and although the drum beat never varies, and the song is almost 5 minutes long, it isn’t boring! fantastic.

BANG! next is one of my five favourite songs on the album. yes, i have five favourites, because i just can’t pick one. you hear this song and you think to yourself “this is the best song on the album”. but just WAIT for the next song. anyways, the best thing about this song is everything. if the next song didn’t exist i would think it should be the single. just like every song, it builds and layers and intertwines with itself so well. it drives wearily towards the buildup at the end, which feels like it can’t be topped. this album just keeps giving more and more and more and more. ah, so cheesy. everything driving together just hits the spot for me.

the single. it makes me feel like i’m standing in the middle of a huge field on a horse with a helicopter doing a huge sweep over me for some epic scene in a movie. this song is seriously epic but again, seriously simple: this summarizes the strength of the album. clean, simple sound; strong, simple, sensible melody; driving, tight drums and bass; not-too-invasive, accessible but original guitar; pleasingly mainstream, melodic and tasteful keys; and bang-on vocals. listen to her voice! they’re all doing it well, it sounds great and it just makes sense. anyways, this song kicks ass.

now, my early favourite. just going back to emily’s voice for one second here, just listen to it in this song. effortlessly, it soars over the backdrop this song creates. i think maybe this song gives me a similar feeling to the last song, but maybe this time it’s raining. ha! very frank and haunting, this song opens up more truths about love and loss. as opposed to the earlier songs on the album, this song (and the previous, gimme sympathy) builds less and trails off more. it’s a nice change and gives the album more movement.

this might be the weakest song on the album, which isn’t saying much because there aren’t really any weak songs on the album. it might be taking advantage a little too much of the simple pounding theme introduced earlier on in this album. it doesn’t really build, or fade, or change. whatever.

this is probably my favourite song on the album, at least right now. usually i hate it when melody mirrors a riff that another instrument plays, but i’m not bothered by the fact that voice and keys and guitar (more or less) all play the melody in this song. it’s starts out with guitar, then keys are added. next voice. then the guitar changes–sort of–then the survivors are singing in the rain. then the synth voices are added. then you’re being taken towards something again: help is on the way. then there’s that chime in the background, and then her voice just fucking soars again! and then the climax, what feels like a last beautiful cry. she wants to leave but the world won’t let her go. a life she never chose. simple and so sorrowful. then, back to the speed of breathing. voice soaring again but over the originals. the structure of this song is so brilliant. i can’t stop listening to the way it all works.

we don’t end on that note, though. a huge fight, a huge song, finally in love. potentially the loudest song on the album, i’m really glad it exists, because if i didn’t have this after the previous song i might kill myself when the album was over. you wouldn’t think it would work after blindness, but it just does.

so, yup! that’s metric’s album fantasies, poorly broken down song by song. to recap: this album grows on you. it’s the kind you have to listen to from start to finish. its strengths are simplicity, melody, and its driving quality. it’s metric’s most mature album to date and it just walks all over my head, many times a day. i haven’t listened to an album this much since in rainbows. something about it just makes sense. maybe it’s great for a disillusioned 20-year-old girl who wishes she was emily haines. i also firmly believe, though, that you need to give this album several fair chances regardless of your age and demographic because i think it can appeal to anyone.

ENJOY.

note to self: never write an album review when i am this tired again, because i won’t notice that i say things like “this song, this album, this song, this song, the song, the album, this album” a million times every second.

witnessing an important part of someone’s life that i barely know as an observer can be very humbling. speeding down the left side of a suburb road while he cries next to me. sitting awkwardly and knowing there is nothing to say, or if there is, not what it is. apt music almost louder than i can stand. orange lights, too fast, too close to cars, skid to a stop, breathing again. plot an escape. run with the good guy for once.

earlier that day, prehaps a precursor: cascades of rain pouring down thick, heavy and warm from the sky. white angry lightening right near by illuminating the world, darkened by clouds. this place needed rain to wash away the dry. maybe today, we can take longer showers. i read the news, aghast at an abuse of resources: a man walks across a lake run dry, flesh melting off his feet from the acidity of it.

you meet amazing people when it is immediately apparent that you share something in common with them, even if for a brief while. like huddling under an awning, watching and feeling water pour down and flail at the earth. maybe melbourne is the kind of city where people talk to each other.

there are a thousand possibilities at every moment. finally i have my shortened seasons, friends, and contentment. it’s a good day to be alive.

it’s a good time to be asleep.

the cult here makes sense again. i’m almost double target. i have a mission. everything fits into place. the cult back home sounds like… well, i don’t want to think about that. i shouldn’t write about that. the end.

the sunset was perfect today.

every night, long conversations with hair. something to look forward to after a day i look forward to. do i have to leave?

i’m so tired, i’m nodding off at 10:30. i can’t stay up until 2am tonight again, just can’t. i need more money. i need to write music. this weekend should be great, weekday crasher is in town.

what a scattered entry. i’m feeling vapid.

this one man on the news sounds like stewie from family guy. it’s absolutely fantastic.

uhhhhhhhhh

this post was going to be a million times more interesting.

i wish i could have shared the sunset with you. it was so perfect.

the heat shines my skin as i wilt on the street. it’s drier than anywhere. a huge hole looms above my head as uv rays pour through, trying to find me, but i hide in the shade. that’s ninja prowess, right there.

evergreen

a steep street down in summer sunshine to the seaside
i’m watching turquoise wash and wash away at my feet

a wad of bills to buy myself some time alone
there’s no one in the world who knows just how to find me now

the summer stretches on and on into the future
a bus roars by as sand is displaced under my feet

i’m crazy cause i’m wanting for a different shade of green
when cold comes it holds on to branches
holds on to me

trains

i’ll keep it inside
i’ll keep it alive
not letting it go
not letting it show

everything is new
(so i’m) i’m taking it to you
everything is new
so i’m taking it to you
i’m taking it to you.

sunlight
too bright
dirt under my red nails
under
some queen
breathe in stale air tonight

humid
humour
stay dry drink dry don’t ask me why
asking
questions
i know you know the answers to

cut it
leave it
split ends split mind i can’t decide
can’t reach
out to
the people i am closest to

i’ll be on my way
there’s lots to do today
i won’t meet your eye
as i say goodbye

every grain of sand
every line in my hand
is all i have to show
for letting this go
letting this go
letting this go
letting this go
letting this go.

hospital

the future isn’t now
that place isn’t here
so it isn’t real

you are not my friend
you’ll never know enough
so it isn’t yours

you asked me for too much
you’re not the one i want
what does it take?

i am not okay
someone check me in
someone hold me close
and never let me go

we’ll shut ourselves inside
and turn off all the lights
forget about the world
let simpler things unfurl

if only for a day
chase all my fears away
leave protest for the rest
consider ourselves blessed

an i will whisper words
that you have never heard
i don’t know who you are
but you can have my heart

buy another thing
to make your footsteps ring
so you’ll shine and whirr

you’d better not eat those
it’s the choices that you make
that will bend and break

so many ways to think
it drives you to the brink
and there’s no right way
what does it take?

i am not okay
someone check me in
someone hold me close
and never let me go

we’ll shut ourselves inside
and turn off all the lights
forget about the world
let simpler things unfurl

if only for a day
chase all my fears away
leave protest for the rest
consider ourselves blessed

an i will whisper words
that you have never heard
i don’t know who you are
but you can have my heart

flick/thump

this song is a joke
i’m not even at that party anyways
whatever
i’m going to the beach ch ch ch ch ch …

friends

goodnight, goodnight to you and me
there’s still a few hours when we both are asleep
sometimes i feel so far away and alone
can’t wait until the days when i am home

but when i come i will bring this summer sun
to light your days
and stories to tell while we sit all together again
my friends

i long for a small town where sun sets on sea
with a score of people that i know love me
and a small flat that’s near everything that i need
why’d i leave? why’d i leave?

but one thing you showed me is how to make the best of what i have
and that’s what i’ll do until i can see your faces again, my friends

technology failure again, and it’s always on the most important days. my internal clock wakes me 15 minutes before i have to leave the house, a frustratingly short time, not long enough to do anything special with myself.

threw on my best outfit and tried failingly to fix my greasy hair. in a whirl rushed out the door three times due to things forgotten. music in my ears, heartbeat thumping, sun shining, sweating, sunglasses, clicking boots, smile, train barely caught, whirl into the city.

800 hour office: home. hugs from dreadlocked hippies. a kiss from faerie girl. coffee, croissant, my day had begun! so many things happening. hare hare hare krishna food for lunch, all i could eat. mandolin playing cigarette smoking standing in the sunshine crazy children of the cult surrounding me with happiness. finally money making. finally feeling free and happy again. finally loving life again

loving life again

loving life again.

weekday crasher and i cruise in a ridiculous tram (they’re everywhere!) to her trashed abode with a heavenly room: mystery man’s, who i will meet and name later. then to “MACers” (macd’s) for internet usage. these chain stores are so classy here! made friends with everyone there, ate a pizza from across the street inside surrounded by laptops and shared it, piping hot, with a world traveller.

grabbed a drink from a bar manned by a drunk girl in her thirties who wrote me a list of places to find companionship. i laughed at her while she hiccuped.

got home, began writing this, and my nightly conversation with hair.

life is so good
life is so good
a smile for anyone.
i’m home
with hope
i’m home.

p.s. please, leave me alone. yes, i’m talking to you: you know who you are. thanks.

seriously, that sums it up, this day
this day, summed up:

work work work work work work work
work work work
work work work work work work
work
work work work work
work work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work
work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work work work work
work work work work work

wake up, meeting. bus. work, success! apparently i’m good at spreading the passion and success. solid&sweet benefits from something i say. skinny boy benefits from something i say. success? yes please. can the cult fund the saving the world? yes please. next, human rights briefing. six typed out, full pages of notes. atrocities. depression. discussion with kindrid spirit about holistic approach, realization that everything is the same problem. realizations i’ve had before, altered. basic, common sense personified is what i strive to become.

next, more meeting. thoughtful talker talks slowly. too many people. high temperature pizza and a cyber dog barking: things beyond our control.

i’m hitting the wine again. listening to son lux and crickets on the back porch, pining the loss of homeland security.

thinking more about a choice i just can’t seem to make: too many factors. two good decisions.

“you will betray me baby, and i will be true” -betray, son lux

thinking about starface, randomly; maybe i’m writing in a similar style. weekday crasher mutters on the phone but i can’t hear her. thinking about the truth believer. thinking about far too many people, myself included. my situation included. thinking about comic books. thinking about tattoos. thinking about human rights and the environment. thinking about planes. drowning in another glass. thinking about the two i came from, sleeping. thinking about two generations back, dwindling. thinking about love. thinking about apathy. thinking about this song, which is maybe the best song possible for this moment.

i’m not sure, i haven’t heard all the songs.

i think i will go offer slow talker a glass of wine: the song is over.

he is still working, even this late: forty minutes after ten. went busking with park bench, made $0.70. gave it to a homeless woman. drank too much wine. the world isn’t spinning but it’s getting there. protein bars make my life. they’re $5.00.

can’t wait for bondi and my week off. weekday crasher makes fun of me for pronouncing it “bondy”. once. i was tired. give me a break. probably if i had had a latte i wouldn’t have pronounced it that way. a latte from satellite espresso. or the new place, where the guy told me his name. so friendly. i forgot it. i’m only here for a couple of more weeks.

goodnight.

today, i……………………………… can’t remember

wait, it’s coming back

woke up at 12:30, sweating in a sleeping bag. went out on a mission and returned successful, with a shiny music maker, three quarter sized, named larry. he sings out of tune after just a few minutes, i have to keep correcting him. he’ll learn soon enough. drank coffee and ate pesto pasta conjured by park bench, and drank wine i bought from the bottle shop. talked about work. realized i work longer than i claim to work, most days. decided to gallivant next week instead of two weeks from now. took a holiday today that didn’t actually exist.

spiders here are massive. look up “huntsman spiders”. on second thought: don’t. just don’t. never do. and never leave canada. never leave your sterilized spiderproof condo, actually. don’t have one? buy one. i hear they’re 40% off in yaletown. what an investment!

i should hear something interesting in a few days, and then have to make a difficult decision about the direction of the next year or two of my life. that’s something i’ve noticed about growing up: more people die and more impossible decisions have to be made. also, twenty dollars seems to increase and decrease in value very rapidly in my mind, but maybe that’s not growing up; maybe that’s just me.

coldplay is really great. you can’t deny it. well, you could, but i would argue with you.

5 breakfasts ordered, received wrong, re-ordered, eaten in the wind. the money spent, i’m wearing new clothes; that smell of rain after a long spell of dry fills my nostrils.

pining after a three day connection. i know i’ll be forgotten. the shape of my smile. the sound of my footsteps, or whatever. peoples’ gaits are like fingerprints, and they say a lot about a person.

apparently i strut. my writing slants backwards when i’m feeling guilty about something. psychoanalyze me people, am i only simple to myself? something about a box in the desert, a wooden ladder, and a horse floating upside down. maybe i’m just crazy but when i know they’re watching i disappear. people ask me what i look for, what’s attractive: and it’s people i can’t lie to. i don’t know what it is but you were one of them.

watching movies about impossible romance doesn’t make me feel better. so i do laundry, and eat several pieces of stale bread with fake butter spread, and watch two new (to me) episodes of lost. what a stupid day.

tomorrow is a holiday in australia. but it’s not what i’m used to: one doesn’t get paid not to work, here. it seems like canada is too good to be true, sometimes, looking at it from this perspective. i guess there are bad things about everything. the glass is half empty. i’m looking this gift horse in the mouth, just so you know, and it’s too old to ride.

this morning i was feeling optimistic. i think i’m going to have a drink.

instead, i share a wealth of music and movies with irish car bomb. hours of mindful entertainment at my fingertips as my hard drive fills up fuller and fuller. even more than half full! three cheers for friends and technology.

i still want a drink though.